Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Abdullah, Hira's uncle

Questions by Ahmed Awwah: Assalamoalaikum wa-rehmatullahi wa-barakatuhu.
Answers by Abdullah: Walekum Assalam wa-rehmatullahi wa-barakatuhu.
Q: Brother! You must be known that we published a magazine by the name of "Armughan" from Phulat. There has been an ongoing series of interviews of the people who have embraced ISLAM. I want to talk to you with regard to the same?
A: Why do you want to spoil your holy magazine by publishing anything related to a tyrant and wicked like me, (wiping his tear).
Q: Oh no! Dear brother, my father (Maulana Kaleem Siddiqui) has said that your life is one of the miraculous signs of God's power, he wishes that your interview must find place in the magazine.
A: Your father (may God bless him with long life), I consider myself his slave. If it's his command, I subdue, please ask I'll answer.
Q: Please introduce yourself?
A: If I say that since the commencement of this world till today, I'm the most tyrant, the worst and the luckiest man rather beast ever born, then it would be my true introduction.
Q: This is an emotional introduction; tell us about your family background.
A: I was born 42 or 43 years ago in family of cowherd caste in Budhana of district Muzaffar Nagar where majority was of Muslim Rajputs. My family is of very religious Hindu and criminal background. Father and Uncle were kind of leaders of a group. Plundering, oppression, tyranny was my second nature. During the riots of 1987 in Meerut, I & my father stayed to guard & help relatives there. Together we killed at least 25 Muslims; later I joined the Bajrang-Dal under the influence of Muslim hatred. During 1990 I again killed many in Shamli. Those were the times of Babri Masjid case. Again in 1992 I was in Budhana where I killed many Muslims. There was a man who was a true Muslim but infamous rogue and everyone was scared of him. I along with one of my friends shot him dead.
All this enmity I had towards Muslims lead me to one of the most heinous crimes (crying)
I doubt if anyone has ever seen such barbarism & tyranny beneath the sky or over the earth or even thought of it. (Weeping for long)
Q: Tell us about how you embraced Islam.
A: There is Surah by the name of Burooj in the 30th para (section) of the Holy Qur'an. Isn't it? Therein Allah has spoken of people of the ditch of fire that they are perished and destroyed, perhaps its about me, the difference being they're said people of fire; recite it once in Arabic, what does it say?
Q: Recite
A: If we say mercy was sent upon the people of fire, how will it be in Arabic?
Q: Raham Ashabal Ukhdu
A: Yes if the verse would be about me, it would be this Raham Ashabal Ukhdu ………….
Q: Tell us your incident.
A: I'm trying to. But how do I begin with? Even my heart that has grown so hard does not have the courage to narrate this table.
Q: I insist. Maybe it will act as an admonition for others.
A: Sure. The story of my guidance to Islam would give hope to the depressed souls that if the All-Merciful Lord (Arhamar-rahimin) can bless me then why should anyone lose hope?
Listen Ahmed Bhai…
I had an elder brother. Despite all the crimes and the wickedness we shared a strong bond of love. He had two daughters and two sons. I had none; his eldest daughter was Hira. She was extremely sensitive to the limits of craziness. If she would meet someone, it would be extremely of love & fondness and if hate then again reaching the limits. We often doubted if she was possessed. Consulted a few sages but she remained the same. She went to school till Std. VIII. Then, since mature she was to take care of household chose. But she wanted to study further. Without seeking permission, she filled up the high school examination form. Labored for eight days in the farms to earn money for fees and even got the books. She couldn't understand and so started going to the nearby Brahmin's house to seek tuitions from his daughter. Brahmin had a son who was a rogue & dacoit. Nobody knows how she fell in his trap and both of them left for the forest where his band was. She went but soon filled with remorse. The feeling of guilt, earning bad name for the family kept her worried and she shed tears in silence. A Muslim boy from Idreespur was also member of the same gang. One day he saw her crying and tried to find out the reason. She confided in him mistake she had made out of immaturity and lack of understanding. Now that she feared her modesty and family reputation it excessively worried her. The guy took pity on her and asked her to trust him since he was a Muslim “And a Muslim is the one who keeps his promise; I take you as my sister and will protect you now on. I'll try to send you home safely," he said and suggested to all other members that the girl must live here in disguise. So she was given clothes of men and was taken along wherever they went. She observed the Muslim boy to be different from the rest. He was a man of words, would give suggestions of value and when the booty was distributed, he would always keep a share for the destitute. He would always arrange a separate room for Hira and keep an eye lest any of the men would enter. When Hira was trusted and ascertained as a loyal member of the gang, things became casual and easy.
Now the guy somehow sent her to Baron and told Hira that she should reach Idreespur from there and meet his brother. Tell him that I have sent for him. He should come here and tell the gang that Hira has been caught by the police. She did as was told and his brother too came to the jungle and repeated the news. Now he was to go back and send Hira to the police station where she should seek help and tell the story of her being kidnapped by the dacoits in the jungle. When she did so, it was found there was a report already with the Budhana police station of a girl being kidnapped. Lady police officers brought Hira to our village. We kept her at home but it was a matter of reputation. She kept saying she was kidnapped but guarded her chastity. We couldn’t believe her & on the suggestion of an educated relative took her to Budhana Hospital for medical examination. We had pledged that if found guilty of adultery we would kill her and throw in the river. By the grace of Allah, she was found innocent.
We happily returned home but now she used to talk highly of that Muslim boy as a savior and of his being virtuous. She started visiting the Muslims nearby. A girl gave her book "Dozakh ka Khatka aur Jannat ki Kunji". I saw their (Muslims) book in the house and gave her a good beating and warned her of dire consequences. But Islam had left undying impression upon her, illuminated the dark quarters of her heart with its light (nur).
She went to a madarsa along with the Muslim girl and embraced Islam at the hand of some Maulana. She even started learning namaz, since she became a Muslim she felt suffocated in the house where partners' were associated unto Him (the only God). She would keep very quiet now, upset and completely changed from the jolly natured girl that she used to be.
Nobody came to know of her plan and one day she left the house yet again. Some Maulana and his wife left her at Phulat. She stayed at your place Ahmed Bhai for few days you can recall.
Q: Yes! Yes! Hira Baji! Where is she? Such a virtuous being! It's surprising you are her Uncle? Everyone at home is concerned where is Hira Baji.
A: Ahmed Bhai! Yes I'm her Uncle. Your father had named her Hira, the virtuous girl and I'm her killer, the tyrant murderer Uncle…. (Weep).
Q: First of all tell me, where is Hira Baji?
A: I'm telling you, my brother, the story of my cruelty & tyranny. As you already know, Maulana Saheb had sent her to his sister's place where she found healthy and peaceful environment. She called her "Rani Phupho", your mom too was very loving towards her. Rani Phupho treated her nicely and taught her. She stayed there for one & a half year.
Her stay in Delhi and Phulat had made her so faithful that if Qur'an was to reveal again, there should have been some verses about the virtuous martyr Hira.
She loved her family especially her mother. She wasn't keeping well those days. One night Hira saw her mother's death in a dream. She missed her a lot and kept worrying for her fate if she was to die without faith. She started crying so loudly that she woke up the others. They consoled her but after the time being she would again cry and request your father whom she addressed as "Abbi ji" to allow her to go home. He would console her and warn her of the dangers at her place. Her life and her "Iman" both would be at risk. She stayed for a while but again she persuaded. Finally Mualana Sb. had to give in. He made her understand that she was to go only to invite her family members to Islam. If she really loved them, then for the sake of love she should fore most call them to the path of peace and save them from hell fire. Hira told him that her kin hated the very name of Islam, they would never accept it. She told us at home that Mualana Sb. had said that when Allah (SWT) would open up their hearts for Islam, they would definitely hate "shirk" & "kufr". (i.e. association with One & Denying Him) as much as they once hated Islam. He also said, "Even you hated Islam once and now "shirk" irks you just as much. Pray to Allah and promise me that you intend to go home only to save them from the hell fire. If this will be your intention, first of all Allah will protect you and if in case you are hurt, it will be the pains that are "sunnah" (traditions) of Prophet ﷺ. And if your kins kill you, you'll be a martyr. This martyrdom is the shortest way to paradise and I have firm faith that your martyrdom will be a source of guidance for your family members. If you die and your loved ones are guided, it will be deal of benefit."
Maulana Sb. tells us that he asked her to offer two rakats of salah and pray to Allah for guidance and leave home with the intention of Dawah.
She went to Phulat from Delhi and then back home. We were very angry. I hit her with shoes and kicked her enough but she was adamant on her stand on Islam. She did not tell us where she had been but had converted to Muslim faith. We dealt very strictly with her but in turn she would only cry and plead us to become Muslims. Her mother was severely ill. After 2 months, she died, Hira kept asking us to bury her mother since she too had accepted Islam by saying the Kalma, that she had died a believer's death and burning her would be great sin. But how could we bury her? We set her afire. Every day at home, there was a riot. She would be pleading her brothers to become Muslims, sometimes it would be her father. We sent her to her "naani's" (maternal grandmother) place. But her Uncle soon summoned us to take her back. She was "adharmi" (out caste religious). Nobody could handle everyday fights. I went up to the Bajrang Dal members for suggestions and they unanimously decided to kill her. I brought Hira to the village.
One day I went to the shore and dig a five feet ditch. I and my elder brother, both of us took her along saying, "We are going to your "Bua's" (aunt) place." It seemed she had a dream and already knew the plans. She took a bath, wore new clothes and said to us "Uncle! Let me offer last namaaz (salah)." She hurried for namaaz and merrily like a new bride came along with us. We were walking on a strange, out of the city path but she never said a word, when we reached the river, she laughingly asked her father, "You are taking me to aunt's place or to the beloved's?" (cries for long)
Q: (gets water to drink) Please complete what you were saying.
A: How do I? But I have to. I had 5 litres of petrol. Hira's own father and I, her own uncle brought her to the ditch. I pushed her in it saying, "How would you save us from the fire of hell, go and taste the fire for yourself now!" I emptied the petrol can and lit the match stick. My elder brother was standing and crying right there watching it all. Hira's new clothes had caught fire while she stood there in that ditch her arm raised towards the sky, she was crying, "My Allah! You're watching over me na? You love your Hira very much na? You loved the cave of Hira and you love this burning Hira too. I don't need anything save your love."
"O uncle! do embrace Islam, uncle! do become Muslim." (sobs uncontrollably)
I was angered at all this, took my brother by the hand and walked away. Now brother started saying, we should have tried to make her understand yet one more time. I became angry with him too and I remember while we were returning; we heard loud voices of "la ilaaha illallah" coming from inside the ditch.
We thought we had done our job, our duty and came back. Hira's last words had however broken my hardened heart. My brother fell ill, he was traumatized after the incident and it proved fatal. Two days before his death, he called me and said, "Whatever we did during the life time is done but when I die, I want to die on Hira's faith. Go bring some Maulana. I was totally heart broken seeing my brother's conditions, found the Imam of our local mosque and brought him along. My brother repeated the Kalma after him, named himself "Abdur Rehman" and asked me to do his last rites as per the Muslim traditions. Now, this was very difficult for me but considering it as his last wish, I took him to Delhi in the name of treatment & admitted to a hospital. He died there and died in peace. Then I told a doctor at Hamdard about his condition who arranged his burial with the help of some Muslims at Sangam Vihar.
Q: It's surprising indeed! You did not tell about your own story of embracing Islam.
A: The Islam enmity had definitely come down but I was still sad over my brother's death as a Muslim. His death was a testimony that made me believe Bhabhi too had died on the same faith. I thought Muslims had used some magic on our household. One by one each member is leaving our religion so I talked too many experienced men of the field (sayaney etc.). In search of a tantrik, I was once going from Shamli to Oon. The bus was a Muslim's. Driver too was a Muslim. He was playing some Qawwali on the tape recorder. It was some by the name of "Budhiya" that related the incident of our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ meeting with an old woman. She advices him to stay away from Muhammad and how then herself becomes a Muslim. The speaker was just over my head. The bus stopped at Jhinjhana. The Qawwali had changed my mind. The Prophet who has been narrated here can't be a lair, I thought. I got down at Jhinjhana instead of Oon and decided to study Islam. I took another bus to Shamli; it too was playing a cassette, this time a speech by Qari Haneef Sb. of Pakistan on life after death. I had to get down at Shamli but speech hadn't completed. The driver paused it at Shamli bus station. I was getting restless to listen to the rest of it, so I bought ticket to Muzaffar Nagar, the destination of the bus. The speech was complete when we reach Baghra. It brought me very close to Islam. I got down at Budhana road, and got another bus to reach home. Now a Maulana sat beside me. I asked him for some help since I wanted to know Islam. He told me that the person best suited in the area is Maulana Muhammad Kaleem Siddiqui of Phulat, and I should go to him. I took the address and instead of going home reached Phulat. Maulana Sb. wasn't home; he was to reach by morning. For the night, a master Sb. gave me "Aapki Amanat Aapki Sewa Main" to read. The book, its language of love and heart felt kind words made me fall for it. Instead of the morning, Maulana Sb. reached in the evening. After magrib I reached him with the request of embracing Islam. I told him I came to know Islam but having read "Aapki Amanat Aapki Sewa Main" now I want to become Muslim. Maulana Sb. was very happy, it was 13th January, 2000, I recited the Kalma after him, I was named "Abdullah". I stayed there for the night and asked him for an hour of his time. I told him the story of my tortures & barbarism. Maulana Sb. kept crying for long after coming to know of my niece Hira. He told me that she had stayed at his place and his sister's. Maulana Sb. consoled me saying Islam erases the sin of the past but I couldn't be sure such ghastly sin deserved forgiveness?
Maulana Sb. used to tell us that all sins of Pre Islamic days will be forgiven, for peace of your mind you should save some lives if you killed so many in the past. The Qur'an says: Virtues erase the vice.
I try with all my means & efforts to save Muslims dying of illness or accident, I know it's HE who saves but we should try & act. There were riots in Gujarat. Allah gave me a chance. I would party with the Hindus, and then beware the Muslims of their plans. I sent the Muslim villagers away before the mob would reach to them. One incident really gives me peace & hope and that was when I came to know of the plans of burning the Madarsa of Bhav Nagar & you would have heard of it. I informed the Thana Incharge, Mr. Sharma and along with him saved the 400 kids there. All thanks to Allah who used me as His tool in saving those innocent lives. I myself broke that wall & made way for escape just 10 minutes before the mob could reach.
I stayed in Gujarat for three months. My sins are so many that these acts can't equal them. Maulana Sb. told me that there's nothing impossible for Allah, His Grace surrounds all, He decides when & how each would die, He who has guided you has full power over pardoning you too. It consoled me to some extent. He suggested me to join Jama'at & learn Islam. I sought two month's time, went to the village, sold off the houses & lands at cheap rates and bought a home in Delhi. I brought my wife, two nephews & Hira's sister to Phulat for Kalma recitation. It took me an year instead of two months, then I spent time in jama'at. My heart deeply grieves over murdering so many Muslims & innocent Hira. Do I deserve forgiveness?
Maulana Sb. asked me to recite Qur'an and especially Surah Buruj again and again. Now I have almost by hearted it and the translation too. 1400 years ago, Allah had said it & how true! It seems to me its about us: -
085.001 وَالسَّمَاءِ ذَاتِ الْبُرُوجِ
By the sky, (displaying) the Zodiacal Signs;
085.002 وَالْيَوْمِ الْمَوْعُودِ
By the promised Day (of Judgment);
085.003 وَشَاهِدٍ وَمَشْهُودٍ
By one that witnesses, and the subject of the witness;-
085.004 قُتِلَ أَصْحَابُ الأخْدُودِ
Woe to the makers of the pit (of fire),
085.005 النَّارِ ذَاتِ الْوَقُودِ
Fire supplied (abundantly) with fuel:
085.006 إِذْ هُمْ عَلَيْهَا قُعُودٌ
Behold! they sat over against the (fire),
085.007 وَهُمْ عَلَى مَا يَفْعَلُونَ بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ شُهُودٌ
And they witnessed (all) that they were doing against the Believers.
085.008 وَمَا نَقَمُوا مِنْهُمْ إِلا أَنْ يُؤْمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ الْعَزِيزِ الْحَمِيدِ
And they ill-treated them for no other reason than that they believed in Allah, Exalted in Power, Worthy of all Praise!-
085.009 الَّذِي لَهُ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأرْضِ وَاللَّهُ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ
Him to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And Allah is Witness to all things.
085.010 إِنَّ الَّذِينَ فَتَنُوا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَتُوبُوا فَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ جَهَنَّمَ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ الْحَرِيقِ
Those who persecute (or draw into temptation) the Believers, men and women, and do not turn in repentance, will have the Penalty of Hell: They will have the Penalty of the Burning Fire.
085.011 إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الأنْهَارُ ذَلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْكَبِيرُ
For those who believe and do righteous deeds, will be Gardens; beneath which rivers flow: That is the great Salvation, (the fulfillment of all desires),
085.012 إِنَّ بَطْشَ رَبِّكَ لَشَدِيدٌ
Truly strong is the Grip (and Power) of thy Lord.
085.013 إِنَّهُ هُوَ يُبْدِئُ وَيُعِيدُ
It is He Who creates from the very beginning, and He can restore (life).
085.014 وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ الْوَدُودُ
And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Full of Loving-Kindness,
085.015 ذُو الْعَرْشِ الْمَجِيدُ
Lord of the Throne of Glory,
085.016 فَعَّالٌ لِمَا يُرِيدُ
Doer (without let) of all that He intends.
085.017 هَلْ أَتَاكَ حَدِيثُ الْجُنُودِ
Has the story reached thee, of the forces-
085.018 فِرْعَوْنَ وَثَمُودَ
Of Pharaoh and the Thamud?
085.019 بَلِ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا فِي تَكْذِيبٍ
And yet the Unbelievers (persist) in rejecting (the Truth)!
085.020 وَاللَّهُ مِنْ وَرَائِهِمْ مُحِيطٌ
But Allah doth encompass them from behind!
085.021 بَلْ هُوَ قُرْآنٌ مَجِيدٌ
Nay, this is a Glorious Qur'an,
085.022 فِي لَوْحٍ مَحْفُوظٍ
(Inscribed) in a Tablet Preserved!
Ahmed Bhai! Please recite it and ponder over Hira's last screams. "My Allah! You are watching over me na? My Allah! You love me! My Allah? You love your Hira na? Yes my Allah! You loved the caves of Hira and you love this Hira too who is burning in the pit of fire. I have your love and need nothing else….."
Father! (Pitaji) do accept Islam, Chacha (Uncle) do become Muslim. (sobs)
Q: Thank God! You gave in to her prayers, you did as she asked. You are lucky that Allah guided you to light from those depths darkness.
A: How did I obey her? It's her lord, Allah who listened to her prayers and accepted her wishes. A tyrant like me was never deserving of such grace & blessings.
Q: Thank you so much, Abdullah Bhai!
A: Ahmed Bhai, Please do pray that Allah should give me a chance to serve some purpose that would set my heart at peace that would pay for my tyranny. No doubt the Qur'an has remedy for the incurable disease that I suffer from that Virtues erase the vice. That the reason saving those innocent Muslims of Gujarat serves as consolation to me.
Allah Hafiz. (May God keep you in His protective care).
Armughan
Monthly Magzine
February 2005

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